Intuition is a spiritual faculty and does not explain, but simply points the way. ~Florence Scovel Shinn
The other day I was buying something online for my daughter. She really REALLY wanted this sweater and since she needs a new sweater I decided to get it for her. We finally found the one she wanted, however, something in my stomach was telling me “mmm.. Check this out first” . I ignored the feeling and proceeded to check out. The order went through ok, however, the day after I realized I paid by echeck (which means the money comes directly out of your account not out of the Paypal acct) . Thank God I did the double take and was able to transfer the PP money into my bank on time, because I would be in big trouble right now with everyone (bank, paypal and the vendor).
It is no coincidence those things are coming to me when I am questioning my intuition. I get mad at myself when I ignore it, and KNOW, just KNOW when I’m doing it. When I experience my intuition, I get a pinch inside my stomach (for when I “should” take another path). That pinch goes right to my brain and sends an alarm: “NO NO NO – Stop – Double Check – Not Good!!” When I am making the choice that is right for me, the feeling is totally different.
My question is: If my gut is speaking to me, why do I choose to ignore it? I can probably come up with all kinds of answers, however, the whys are not important. What is important is that I see, hear and feel! So, like an athlete, I am in training! Lets move on to practice.
I created a system for myself to remind me of the “red flags”. First, with my therapist, we decided that I should put Stop signs around my house to remind me, during my vulnerable stages, what is important: ME!! Moreover, I must remember to set boundaries and stick to them. There will come a time, during this process, that I may become weak. These stop signs will serve as reminders to not open the door to things that may, in the end, be a detriment to my healing.
Second, while I was walking across the street here. I noticed that often, I was jaywalking. So lets say “jaywalking” is ignoring my gut. I also noticed that often, almost everyone around here jaywalks! (so everyone ignores their gut? No.. but for the purpose of this excercise YES!) Jaywalking, in this instance, represents taking a chance every time one ignores the stop sign and crosses the street. So this is my plan. When I want to cross the street, I press on the little hand to activate the cross walk. Although it takes a long time for the little walking man to show up, I wait until its safe. Thus, the hand telling me to stop is my “gut instinct” to stop. The little man telling me to walk “is my gut instinct to go with it”!
This visual exercise is really helping me tap into “the stop and go” of instinct. It is also teaching me patience, and being good to myself. I mean, if I cross that street too early, I could get hit by a car. If I wait, I am making a wise choice. I still look both ways before I cross, but know that the path is cleared and its my turn!
As for my daughter’s sweater, in the end, the money cleared and there is no harm done… Yet I can’t wait to receive my daughter’s sweater to make this whole transaction A.. OK!!!