This week we are talking about Visitation Dreams. On January 19th I posted a poll asking you to vote if you had any of the following dreams: Visitation, guides, angels etc.. 35% of you answered you’ve were visited by a deceased loved one. According to Ryan Hurd, in his article, Visitation dreams: When the Veil between Worlds is Thin, there are common traits in visitation dreams. I will list these at the bottom of the post for you to read.
Today I feel honored Monica Wilcox shares her experience with us. She describes in her absolute best writing and style the visit she received after the passing of her mother:
Don’t tell me worlds aren’t clashing every day. Realities are always slamming into one another. Just look at what happens when I close me eyes and slip back to:
My Childhood Home
Only it’s empty: no furniture, no art work, no organized piles of crap waiting to be dealt with. Just squares of sunlight stretched in long diagonals across the taupe carpet. That’s mighty peculiar since I haven’t been home, in like, forever. Didn’t we sell this house once upon a time?
My mom, with my father behind her, are the only things filling up the empty. She’s all smiles, looking refreshed and younger than I ever knew her. So heaven is the universal spa. Just look what 4 years has done for my mother.
We embrace and I feel her; the way her body used to fit into mine, her unconditional love for me, her individual energy. I’m suddenly all emotional and mystified, “Why are you here? You died,” I stammer.
“I never died, Monica. That’s a mistake,” she assures me.
Can you see it now; how one swirling world collides into another? One truth crumbling away at another truth as huge chunks of reality become obliterated by the friction. There is the reality where I scattered my mother’s aches across a Wyoming mountainside the day before I plunged into a deep pit of grief.
And Then There is This Reality
“I never died. I never died. And now I’ve come back.”
I’m so thrilled by this heavenly act of contrition that I start babbling and crying all over her. My heart shatters into a thousand bits of gratitude. God made a mistake? I was right all along, she wasn’t supposed to die.
“Where have you been?” I ask. I can’t understand where she has been all this time; like a Columbian vacation gone bad. Does she know what it’s done to my father? My father! He must be overjoyed to have her back now. He’s been so lost without her. Now they can go back to the way it was and continue on.
But while she was lounging at the Pearly Gates Spa, everything here, at the house has changed.
“Oh no Mom! We got rid of all your clothes and your jewelry…we’ll have to ask everyone to give everything back. Here…,” I tug her wedding ring off my finger and offer it back to her, “here’s your ring back.” How could we have given away her whole life like that; within weeks of her death? As if there was no chance she would want it back? There is a long list of personal things I’ll never find, like her blue ceramic cookie jar she made in her first ceramics class in the ‘70’s. Does Goodwill have long term storage? I’m inexplicably mortified to have done this to her.
She curls my fingers over the ring, “It’s not mine anymore. I have a new life now. I’m no longer married.” She’s practically glowing, like a woman in the deep depths of a bottomless peace and… knowing.
Good gravy! She’s returned from the dead to divorce my father and build a new single life. Next thing she’ll tell me is she’s bought a cute condo in the big city and a sexy black Beamer. My mother has gone into a full-blown re-life crisis.
Yes, worlds are colliding. And I’m stuck between them. My mother IS here before me, as fully as she ever was, AND yet…she is not.
“I still have your brass bed and we can get back your antique hutch but your bedroom set and your couches and some of your photos…we just couldn’t keep nineteen albums worth of pictures.”
She puts her hands on my shoulders. She’s got that look of sympathy in her eyes. The last time she looked at me that way I was fifteen and heartbroken with a bad crush. It means there are things she understands that I do not. I hate that look.
“Honey, I’ve moved on to another place.”
“Do you think we can get the school to hire you back? I’m sure they can find a teaching position for you.”
She hugs me again, whispering in my ear, “If you only knew how EASY all of it really is. If only I’d have known I wouldn’t have been so darned stressed out and worried scared.”
That’s easy for her to say. She died and then God realized He’d made a mistake and brought her back and now she’s a retired divorcee moving to some beach in tax free Costa Rica.
I awake, curl up and cry. Why did my subconscious do that to me? Why couldn’t my mind grasp that my mom was communicating to me from another place. I have a thousand questions I wanted to ask but all I could think about was hunting down her damn embroidered pillowcases. It’s like my conscious mind could not get itself around the possibility of another reality.
No. Don’t tell me world’s aren’t colliding. They are colliding every night.
Monica Wilcox is a regular contributor for Care2.com, OwningPink.com, and FemCentral.com. Her work has been featured on McSweeney’s.net and in Parent:Wise magazine. When she’s not editing her first novel, she’s blogging about women’s issues, living green and everything woo-woo. She’s been advised to publish a dream journal. Until then you can find more of her nightly drama at Femmetales.com.
Common Traits of Visitation Dreams
Meanwhile, ordinary people around the world continue to have visitation dreams that greatly affect them. Some say the dreams actually change their lives forever. According to Kevin Kovelant, a consciousness studies professor at JFK University, visitation dreams often have these features:
- The dream feels more real than the usual dream: more clarity, focus, and steadiness of mind.
- A “felt sense” that the person is really them, not just a memory. “That was grandma – I know it was her.”
- Very little plot: usually the dream narrative consists of the interaction between the dream ego and the figure of the deceased person.
- Strong emotions are commonly reported: love, forgiveness, anger, fear.
- A “physical” touch between the spirit and the dreamer, usually a hug or a reaching out.
- The deceased dream figure often looks younger and healthier than when they passed on.
- Sometimes accompanied by the feeling of “weight” or “presence” on the dreamer’s bed.
Dreamworker Robert Moss breaks down visitation dreams into 13 themes. Here’s my favorites from Moss’s interesting book The Dreamer’s Book of the Dead.