Proud As A Peacock

“Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”
Jane Austen 

I woke up this morning thinking about how proud I am of my children. My son came home last night with his official Grade 6 graduation picture and I immediately busted into tears. He told me to close my eyes as he took down the picture frame which holds every 8 x 10 school picture ever taken (including pre-school). Then, with pride, he told me to look on the wall, and there he was, all handsome in his cap, smiling, and holding a 2011/2012 elementary school diploma.  William put it right next to his sister’s who is holding her 2008/2009 parchment in her delicate hands.  Both my children are shining.

To see how far he has come since the kid who literally used to run away from Kindergarten, who was diagnosed with ADHD, who was bullied at school, who struggled with learning, his self-esteem, studying and math. To look at my daughter, who, didn’t have the struggles he had, but tried very hard to keep up because unfortunately, a lot of my attention was given to Wil and I think she felt the need to grasp at some straws for me to see her too!

I see her more clearly now:  full of life, excitement and she has this “no-nonsense” attitude which often grounds me.  She loves to be out, to explore, to push the boundaries of the world, always on the edge, yet not so much that she is too far from home, literally, and in her spirit.  She does things I would have never done, like longboarding, and riding the “sling-shot” at La Ronde amusement park.  Angela is the epitome of youth, and she truly inspires me.

These sudden surges of pride have come up a lot lately.  Not only in my children, but in myself.  If my children have succeeded this far, it is part and partial due to me!  (this is hard for me to write so bear with me)..

Being proud of oneself, is not something I am used to.  If you look at many blog posts and self-help books, one doesn’t see many references to “pride”.  The terms self-love, self-care, self-esteem are often used..

So what’s wrong with pride?

I began my research and stopped over at the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word pride comes along with ego, self-regard, self-respect, however, the antonyms are humbleness, humility and modesty.  Now, in most of the self-help books I have read the latter terms have come up OFTEN.  They are something, according to many of the books I have read, that we should strive for.  Which leads me to the question:

Is pride a negative or a positive thing to express?

Have we been programmed NOT to toot our own horn ?

For this post, I went through dozens and dozens of quotes on pride, and in fact, they are mostly speaking of “the sort of pride” which often gets us in trouble.  We often hear expressions “Her pride got in the way”  or “He’s too proud to admit he was wrong”.  Ahh.. so that is where it comes from.  Pride is often associated with the negative ego, so we don’t talk about it much.  Well at least the “negative” connotation.  Furthermore, in my research, I googled the words “when it is good to be proud” and to my discovery, many people are asking the question:

“Is it good to feel proud?”

I say YES!!  It is important to have pride in yourself, in your children, in your accomplishments.  I am at that point now. I am proud of the journey I have taken so far.  With all its wondrous moments and bad choices.  With all its chaos and moments of joy.  With all the drama and times of peace.  I have grown to take responsibility for my life and I AM PROUD OF ME!!

So yes, be proud, not proud enough to keep people out of your life, or to never say I am sorry when you’ve hurt someone, but proud of where you are right this moment. RIGHT NOW.. Go look at yourself in the mirror with the pride of a lion!

I am proud of the mother and woman I am, because that, reflects in my children’s eyes, and I am so proud of them!

Be proud as a peacock!  Proud as a lion!   Proud as an open flower waiting for butterflies! Proud as you are!

Speaking of my son, he is looking for sponsors to get him to camp this summer.  Summer camp is something William looks forward to every year and it is so good for his self-esteem.  This year I am on sick leave (due to my depression diagnosis), and being a single parent family, you can imagine I cannot put up the whole amount.  Anything you can give would be greatly appreciated.  I’ll even throw in a Dream Interpretation whenever you have a dream!!    Here is a link :

Camp Sponsorships

You can also email me if you want to send a money order at

Summer Camp

There is something very special about being away from your parents for the first time, sleeping under the stars, hiking and canoeing.
Jami Gertz quotes

I have never been to summer camp.. Well with the exception of going for a week with my whole grade six class, however, I do not count that experience as a major event in my life. Both my children have gone to camp, my daughter has stopped, however, my son has the Camp Bug, and looks forward to going every year.

William, now 12, aspires to be a camp counsellor in 4 years, so this will be his last year as a regular camper, next year he will be a CIT (counsellor in training). Usually, our family receives a scholarship and help from family to get William there, however, this year the scholarship is not available. Therefore, we need to look outside our circle of friends and fam for help.

It is such a great experience for Wil to go to Camp Amy Molson. Many underprivileged children go there, and he feels like a guide to these kids since he is older now. My son is ADHD, thus the reason he was getting a scholarship.. The respite used to be for ME and not him! Yet now its all for him! I miss him when he goes to camp. If you go a year back into my posts, you can see some of the things William has gone through.. It has been tough for him. So going to camp is a vacation away from me and all the “Do this William do that” and “William!! Did you break that glass?” “William focus!” “William get to bed.. Brush your teeth… pick that up!” Because we constantly try to help him concentrate on the task at hand, especially during the school year!

So, with help from all of you, even if it is just in prayer, we can help make my son’s dream come true. Maybe he will even be able to go to 2 sessions this year, who knows?…

If you want to help you may use the ChipIn page or just send me an email at: or go to his Facebook Page The Camp Experience

With love


Friendship Matters

Last month I blogged about my son’s bullies and his attempt to “fit in”.  I don’t know if my prayers helped, or if he started using the tools I gave him, or maybe both, but there is definitely an improvement in his life.

A couple of weeks ago my son called and said: “Mom, can I stay at Vincent’s to do my homework?”  I said:  “Vincent, who is Vincent?”  He replies:  “He’s in my class.. Can I stay?”  I said sure.  I hung up a bit confused not knowing who this new friend was however, I decided to trust and see what happens.

The next week, my son leaves me a note:  “Gone to Tom’s I’ll be back for supper”.  “Tom’s?”  I said to my boyfriend, “wasn’t he the one William punched last year?”  again, I trusted the process.  As the days progressed, Tom and Vincent were over at my house a couple of times, playing video games or outside playing swords.  They were all heroes trying to save the world…. all boys a left behind for one reason or another and  found each other. 

With this process came independence.  He was taking off on his bike, leaving me notes like:  “Gone to the lake with my friends.. I’ll be safe.. don’t worry”  Don’t worry??? Now that my son has this new-found independence and is riding around town going by the water.. How does a mom not worry? So I gave him a new set of guidelines and again.. I trusted the process.  I mean.. My son was coming home happy!  He even said to me the other night before falling asleep:  “Mom, I got this feeling”  “What feeling?” I said, hoping it wasn’t another sad moment for him.  He replied with a huge smile:  “My heart feels big, I feel happy”.. I replied:  “You are feeling joy my son!! Great joy!”…

My best friend and I took my son to Dairy Queen because he did his weekly reading and we had a deal.  He asked if his friends could come.. I thought “how can I refuse?” So along came the friends… As I sat there watching my son interacting with them (all 4 of them) I sighed a sigh of relief and thought to myself:  “My son is sitting at the round table with his circle of friends”  🙂

Mom, my tummy hurts…

Three years ago:

Every single morning my son has an ache in his body.  This has been a habit these past couple of years in the morning before school.  There are days I kept him home, to realize that the days before he had a conflict at school.  Another bully, another teasing session, another label a teacher put on him.

I can’t help but feel outraged!  I feel for him and I want to fix it.  Yet, at 11 years old, I cannot fix all his woes, I can only be of support.  I try to give him the tools I find online.  Just google bullying and you will find an array of advice on how to help your child with the fact he has been the “chosen one” and he will have to face these “bullies” all througout his life.  My son has ADHD and yes he’s impulsive, figety and somewhat immature for his age… However, he is also creative, funny and very kind.  He is also known in school for his vigilante skills.. or fighting for the “little one”.

Children can be cruel.  I have been through teasing in primary and secondary school.  My weight, it seems, was an issue for everyone and I was called “fat” “fatso” “pig” “grosse toutoune” “la grosse” etc..etc..  I ended up thinking I was fat all my life, and I still do.  I guess, at 44, I lived up to their expectations.  That is my issue now, thus, when my son comes home crying, I cannot help but cry with him.  I know I have to take charge of my own bullying demons to be able to help him with his.  I do not want him growing up thinking his childhood labels define him.

My son has “punched” a bully twice (please know that for some reason he has a couple of different ones), and I know he’s not perfect either.  However, the day he stood up for himself was the day “that” particular bully stopped teasing him.  And to tell you the complete truth:  High fives were in order that day!  I took him out for ice cream.  I know violence is wrong, yet after all the times he:  talked to an adult who didn’t listen, asked the bully to stop, turned and walked away and the teasing just kept on going.. well a wallop was in order!!

So what do you think?  Have you experienced bullying?

If so.. how did you cope?


Lets try this again..

I’ve been wanting to keep a blog for a long time now.  As you can see, I started to write and stopped.  It’s as if my love for writing had stopped.. or is it the fact that I got caught up in the hoopla of 140 characters or less in the social media?

I would have to admit short and sweet was appealing for awhile, however, my fingers long for some actual debate with myself or others.  My opinions remain locked up inside myself, which in turn, creates a plethora of “stuff” desperately wanting to come out.

Yes, you heard me right in the last paragraph.. I said debate with myself.  I tend to do that often, decision making in my brain, pro’s and con’s bouncing in my mind like a game of ping pong.  I was born to write, as I have filled 25 years worth of diaries, which, I have stopped also.

So.. why here you ask?  Well without always rambling about my daily tasks, I thought I could start writing about things which interest me and also elaborate on my research on ADHD.  My son has ADHD and we are working on a year of non medication.  I have put him on OMEGA 3’s and so far so good.  Now I am not saying to take your child off medication, however, we have because the medications he had tried led to some fearful unwanted effects… AND  my mother instinct told me so!!

So.. I hope you come back to read about my musings and research.  I would love to share my findings with you… or if only to write to myself and debate here without having to keep it all in my head.