Between These Two Unknowns – Dreaming about death


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Birth and death; we all move between these two unknowns.

Bryant H. McGill

You wake up screaming, full of sweat,  and find  your screams mixed with uncontrollable sobbing.  Once you are able to finally focus on the sunlight coming through your window, you realize that you ARE awake, and it YES, it was just a dream.  Yet, you wonder, why you still feel afraid?  Why is the urge to cry lingering? AND why oh why is it so important you call the person you’ve just dreamed about?  You’ve just had the dreaded “death” dream:  You fear the worst.

I had that dream, almost 20 years ago I am sure.  I do not remember the details surrounding the dream, however, I remember seeing my brother (as if I was high up on a ledge observing him) walking through a parking lot, keys in hand, towards his car.  He looked like he was coming back from a work meeting, he was dressed in his suit (my brother, at the time,  had his own business in the works) and had his briefcase in hand.  He approached his car and as soon as he put the keys in the passenger door to unlock it, IT EXPLODED!!! He was dead!

I woke up at that instant crying so hard I almost threw up.  I immediately came back to my senses, but picked up the phone immediately! I was sure I had a premonition dream and I had to save my brother.  Obviously I didn’t, he’s alive and well today, however, why did I have that dream?

My daughter this week, as I mentioned on my Facebook Page, had a dream I died.  She was very upset, she said when she woke up to the point of crying.  In her dream, after I died and the feeling of loss subsided, she decided to go to the house where we lived in our dream and clean it up.  Once the house cleaned, she told me, she started making a list of things she needed to fix up (to take care of).  Then, she started getting ready to take a boat trip.  Her X step-father was in her dream, telling he it was time to get out of the house.  She said his voice was a reminder that it was time, not malicious.  She quickly got her bags, she said, after saying goodbye to her friends on the computer, and hurried to get out.  The boat ride was waiting.  End of dream.

Note my daughter has had a long term relationship with boats, especially as a young child.  She drew them often.  Sailboats in particular.  She was always standing in her boat on calm waters going ahead towards the sun. Thus, the boat symbolism is very personal to her.  It means, freedom, growth and smooth and safe sailing!  

Of course both my daughter and I experienced a bit of panic when she described her dream to me, BUT really do death dreams mean real death?

Birth!

Often, when we draw the Death card in Tarot, we see the worst, until we read the meaning of the card.  In her Tarot book, The Dreamer’s Journal, Barbara Moore describes the Death card in her deck:

“This card can, but rarely does, refer to physical death, which is some comfort.  Death, though, whether physical or metaphorical, is not an easy experience.  This card implies the end of something, perhaps a job, a relationship, a situation, or an organization.  The actual ending will likely be hard, but once it’s over the cycle continues and something new will come. On the other hand, it may be a welcome closure, such as ending a bad relationship, quitting an unhappy job, or selling a house to get a new one.  On a spiritual level, this can mean a symbolic death where you eliminate old beliefs that no longer work for you and perhaps were holding back.  Death is usually hard, but it must happen before transformation or resurrection occurs”  p. 71

Basically, my daughter’s dream makes a lot of sense if you look at it.  She just finished her 3rd year in high-school, she’s taking charge of her life, she follows house rules more often than not, and is coming into her own!  She studies harder, works harder, makes wise choices, and to top it off, this year I told her that my nagging stops, and her choices begin!  

In fact, her dream is a positive one, where  as in she is growing up, learning to depend LESS on me and MORE on herself. This is a great sign or her maturity.  Another way to look at this dream, according to Craig Hamilton-Parker:

“If you dream about your mother dying… it could represent the death of the “motherly” side of your own nature” A more caring and maternal attitude MAY be needed, according to Hamilton-Parker. There may also be a hidden wish to be independent of the mother.
(Source:  www.dreamsleep.net)

The dream about my brother, at the time, seems to mean about the same.  We were very close and depended a lot on each other.  He was always there for me, and I called him constantly when I needed something.  I think the urge to detach myself from him was in a way to A.  Become independent and B.  detach myself from my “jealousy”.  There was a time my brother’s success with EVERYTHING (women, clients, work, sports, etc..) was something I wanted (not the woman part mind you.. but you get the drift).  

Sometime it takes a big explosion to wake you up!

The next time you have the dreaded death dream.  Take a moment to gather your thoughts and write them down.  Look at what changes you have recently made in your life, or new plans coming up.  You may be experiencing troubles in your relationship, or looking to quit your job for a more interesting one.  Whatever experiences you are having, note the old adage: “out with the old and in with the new”!  

If you have had a death dream recently or in the past, jot it down in the comment section.  It will be my pleasure to help you find the meaning.

Have a great weekend!

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Where Worlds Collide – By Monica Wilcox


This week we are talking about Visitation Dreams.  On January 19th I posted a poll asking you to vote if you had any of the following dreams:  Visitation, guides, angels etc.. 35% of you answered you’ve were visited by a deceased loved one.  According to Ryan Hurd, in his article, Visitation dreams: When the Veil between Worlds is Thinthere are common traits in visitation dreams.  I will list these at the bottom of the post for you to read.

Today I feel honored Monica Wilcox shares her experience with us.  She describes in her absolute best writing and style the visit she received after the passing of her mother:

Don’t tell me worlds aren’t clashing every day. Realities are always slamming into one another. Just look at what happens when I close me eyes and slip back to:

My Childhood Home 

Only it’s empty: no furniture, no art work, no organized piles of crap waiting to be dealt with. Just squares of sunlight stretched in long diagonals across the taupe carpet. That’s mighty peculiar since I haven’t been home, in like, forever. Didn’t we sell this house once upon a time?

My mom, with my father behind her, are the only things filling up the empty. She’s all smiles, looking refreshed and younger than I ever knew her. So heaven is the universal spa. Just look what 4 years has done for my mother.

We embrace and I feel her; the way her body used to fit into mine, her unconditional love for me, her individual energy. I’m suddenly all emotional and mystified, “Why are you here? You died,” I stammer.

“I never died, Monica. That’s a mistake,” she assures me.

Can you see it now; how one swirling world collides into another?  One truth crumbling away at another truth as huge chunks of reality become obliterated by the friction. There is the reality where I scattered my mother’s aches across a Wyoming mountainside the day before I plunged into a deep pit of grief.

And Then There is This Reality 

“I never died. I never died. And now I’ve come back.”

I’m so thrilled by this heavenly act of contrition that I start babbling and crying all over her.  My heart shatters into a thousand bits of gratitude. God made a mistake? I was right all along, she wasn’t supposed to die.

“Where have you been?” I ask. I can’t understand where she has been all this time; like a Columbian vacation gone bad. Does she know what it’s done to my father? My father! He must be overjoyed to have her back now. He’s been so lost without her. Now they can go back to the way it was and continue on.

But while she was lounging at the Pearly Gates Spa, everything here, at the house has changed.

“Oh no Mom! We got rid of all your clothes and your jewelry…we’ll have to ask everyone to give everything back. Here…,” I tug her wedding ring off my finger and offer it back to her, “here’s your ring back.” How could we have given away her whole life like that; within weeks of her death? As if there was no chance she would want it back? There is a long list of personal things I’ll never find, like her blue ceramic cookie jar she made in her first ceramics class in the ‘70’s. Does Goodwill have long term storage? I’m inexplicably mortified to have done this to her.

She curls my fingers over the ring, “It’s not mine anymore. I have a new life now. I’m no longer married.” She’s practically glowing, like a woman in the deep depths of a bottomless peace and… knowing.

Good gravy! She’s returned from the dead to divorce my father and build a new single life. Next thing she’ll tell me is she’s bought a cute condo in the big city and a sexy black Beamer. My mother has gone into a full-blown re-life crisis.

Yes, worlds are colliding.  And I’m stuck between them. My mother IS here before me, as fully as she ever was, AND yet…she is not.

“I still have your brass bed and we can get back your antique hutch but your bedroom set and your couches and some of your photos…we just couldn’t keep nineteen albums worth of pictures.”

She puts her hands on my shoulders. She’s got that look of sympathy in her eyes. The last time she looked at me that way I was fifteen and heartbroken with a bad crush. It means there are things she understands that I do not. I hate that look.

“Honey, I’ve moved on to another place.”

“Do you think we can get the school to hire you back? I’m sure they can find a teaching position for you.”

She hugs me again, whispering in my ear, “If you only knew how EASY all of it really is. If only I’d have known I wouldn’t have been so darned stressed out and worried scared.”

That’s easy for her to say. She died and then God realized He’d made a mistake and brought her back and now she’s a retired divorcee moving to some beach in tax free Costa Rica.

I awake, curl up and cry. Why did my subconscious do that to me? Why couldn’t my mind grasp that my mom was communicating to me from another place. I have a thousand questions I wanted to ask but all I could think about was hunting down her damn embroidered pillowcases. It’s like my conscious mind could not get itself around the possibility of another reality.

No. Don’t tell me world’s aren’t colliding. They are colliding every night.

Monica Wilcox is a regular contributor for Care2.comOwningPink.com, and FemCentral.com. Her work has been featured on McSweeney’s.net and in Parent:Wise magazine. When she’s not editing her first novel, she’s blogging about women’s issues, living green and everything woo-woo. She’s been advised to publish a dream journal. Until then you can find more of her nightly drama at Femmetales.com.

Common Traits of Visitation Dreams

Taken from the article by Ryan Hurd, on Oct. 29, 2009

Meanwhile, ordinary people around the world continue to have visitation dreams that greatly affect them.   Some say the dreams actually change their lives forever. According to Kevin Kovelant, a consciousness studies professor at JFK University, visitation dreams often have these features:

  • The dream feels more real than the usual dream: more clarity, focus, and steadiness of mind.
  • A “felt sense” that the person is really them, not just  a memory. “That was grandma – I know it was her.”
  • Very little plot: usually the dream narrative consists of the interaction between the dream ego and the figure of the deceased person.
  • Strong emotions are commonly reported: love, forgiveness, anger, fear.
  • A “physical” touch between the spirit and the dreamer, usually a hug or a reaching out.
  • The deceased dream figure often looks younger and healthier than when they passed on.
  • Sometimes accompanied by the feeling of “weight” or “presence” on the dreamer’s bed.

Dreamworker Robert Moss breaks down visitation dreams into 13 themes. Here’s my favorites from Moss’s interesting book The Dreamer’s Book of the Dead.

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So tell me.  Have you experienced a visitation dream?  Let me know in the comment section below. Also, do you have thoughts on what happened here between Monica and her mom?