Proud As A Peacock

“Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”
Jane Austen 

I woke up this morning thinking about how proud I am of my children. My son came home last night with his official Grade 6 graduation picture and I immediately busted into tears. He told me to close my eyes as he took down the picture frame which holds every 8 x 10 school picture ever taken (including pre-school). Then, with pride, he told me to look on the wall, and there he was, all handsome in his cap, smiling, and holding a 2011/2012 elementary school diploma.  William put it right next to his sister’s who is holding her 2008/2009 parchment in her delicate hands.  Both my children are shining.

To see how far he has come since the kid who literally used to run away from Kindergarten, who was diagnosed with ADHD, who was bullied at school, who struggled with learning, his self-esteem, studying and math. To look at my daughter, who, didn’t have the struggles he had, but tried very hard to keep up because unfortunately, a lot of my attention was given to Wil and I think she felt the need to grasp at some straws for me to see her too!

I see her more clearly now:  full of life, excitement and she has this “no-nonsense” attitude which often grounds me.  She loves to be out, to explore, to push the boundaries of the world, always on the edge, yet not so much that she is too far from home, literally, and in her spirit.  She does things I would have never done, like longboarding, and riding the “sling-shot” at La Ronde amusement park.  Angela is the epitome of youth, and she truly inspires me.

These sudden surges of pride have come up a lot lately.  Not only in my children, but in myself.  If my children have succeeded this far, it is part and partial due to me!  (this is hard for me to write so bear with me)..

Being proud of oneself, is not something I am used to.  If you look at many blog posts and self-help books, one doesn’t see many references to “pride”.  The terms self-love, self-care, self-esteem are often used..

So what’s wrong with pride?

I began my research and stopped over at the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word pride comes along with ego, self-regard, self-respect, however, the antonyms are humbleness, humility and modesty.  Now, in most of the self-help books I have read the latter terms have come up OFTEN.  They are something, according to many of the books I have read, that we should strive for.  Which leads me to the question:

Is pride a negative or a positive thing to express?

Have we been programmed NOT to toot our own horn ?

For this post, I went through dozens and dozens of quotes on pride, and in fact, they are mostly speaking of “the sort of pride” which often gets us in trouble.  We often hear expressions “Her pride got in the way”  or “He’s too proud to admit he was wrong”.  Ahh.. so that is where it comes from.  Pride is often associated with the negative ego, so we don’t talk about it much.  Well at least the “negative” connotation.  Furthermore, in my research, I googled the words “when it is good to be proud” and to my discovery, many people are asking the question:

“Is it good to feel proud?”

I say YES!!  It is important to have pride in yourself, in your children, in your accomplishments.  I am at that point now. I am proud of the journey I have taken so far.  With all its wondrous moments and bad choices.  With all its chaos and moments of joy.  With all the drama and times of peace.  I have grown to take responsibility for my life and I AM PROUD OF ME!!

So yes, be proud, not proud enough to keep people out of your life, or to never say I am sorry when you’ve hurt someone, but proud of where you are right this moment. RIGHT NOW.. Go look at yourself in the mirror with the pride of a lion!

I am proud of the mother and woman I am, because that, reflects in my children’s eyes, and I am so proud of them!

Be proud as a peacock!  Proud as a lion!   Proud as an open flower waiting for butterflies! Proud as you are!

Speaking of my son, he is looking for sponsors to get him to camp this summer.  Summer camp is something William looks forward to every year and it is so good for his self-esteem.  This year I am on sick leave (due to my depression diagnosis), and being a single parent family, you can imagine I cannot put up the whole amount.  Anything you can give would be greatly appreciated.  I’ll even throw in a Dream Interpretation whenever you have a dream!!    Here is a link :

Camp Sponsorships

You can also email me if you want to send a money order at

How could I not know?

The following dream came to me from a Twitter friend a few weeks ago. When she first e-mailed the dream it took me a couple of days to really tap into it, however, once I did I reminded myself of similar dreams I had in the past.

When I look at a dream I look at the symbols and what they represent to the dreamer and to myself. Most dreams tell a story of what is going on in one’s life, usually a story in the unconscious. Sometimes, in the hustle and bustle of life, we have issues that need to be addressed, however, we do not want to look at these issues and we ignore them. The dream, in this example, is bringing this issue to the surface leaving it up to the dreamer to examine it and deal with it in his/her life.

If the dreamer continues to ignore the signs, these dreams can become recurring, or become increasingly scary. It depends on the issue at hand. Once the dream interpreted, the dreamer usually feels a release or may even feel like AHA!! That’s when one knows the dream was analysed properly. It’s up to the dreamer now to deal with truth in waking life.

The dream:

Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true. Demosthenes

My husband and I were at some type of event or get together in some building. There was a woman I noticed but never really saw faces of anyone but her.

Then we were home and I don’t know how it came up but we were fighting cause I found out he cheated with that woman. Specifically on Monday and this was Thursday in my dream. I asked him when… he wouldn’t say but I had Monday in my head. I asked if it was the day he went to his moms house and it jumped to me seeing him being driven to his mom’s but no one was there so he went to another house which I couldn’t see but knew it was the womans.

Then I started crying so hard and he just sat there as I told him to leave. I felt like he wasnt listening to me and like he was thinking I’d get over it or something.

And I kept going back to the building I saw her and thinking… how could I not know?

I woke up sobbing still thinking it was real.


The Interpetation

Let me give you a bit of background on dream interpretation. Usually, according Jungian theory there are 3 roles in a dream. The Ego (You) The Superego (Parental/Morality) and the Id (childlike) our deep-rooted wishes and dreams (could be selfish too)

 In dreams, usually, these 3 roles usually represent a part of you.

 You (Ego) Are in conflict with your husband (Id) about betrayal. You see this woman (superego) as a threat to your relationship with your Id:  that part of you…

So, what is happening in your life right now that you seem to be betraying yourself. What are you preventing yourself from doing at thsi moment? Are you procrastinating on something really important?

You dream about Monday? To me Mondays are always like a new week beginning. So, if this means the same to you,what new beginning are you preventing yourself from doing? The fact that you dream this betrayal happened in the woman’s house leads me to believe you feel the need to escape to do the thing you wish to do or hide it from people. Is speaking your truth difficult to those around you?

You are very sad you are not listening to yourself about something.

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.

This is what the dreamer had to say after the interpretation: 

I cannot even tell you just how dead on this is. Exactly how I’ve been feeling and actually just had a conversation expressing this to a family member right before I checked my email. It gave me goosebumps! How do you do that? I would like to share this experience on my blog but not sure how to without getting too personal ya know?

Thanks Kim so much!!! Amazing!