The Reign of the Lioness and Mother’s Intuition


Trust your hunches.  They’re usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.  ~Joyce Brothers

Intuition is a spiritual faculty and does not explain, but simply points the way.  ~Florence Scovel Shinn

Sunday, many of us will be celebrating Mother’s Day.  This week, Muse In The Valley’s theme is on Motherhood.  All the wonderful, amazing,  loving, beautiful, frustrating and heartbreaking feelings which come with Mothering our offspring.   In my post:  Mother’s Fantacy:  Debunking Myths, I spoke about how my preconceived ideas about parenting really changed once my children came into the world.   The one thing I was not ready for was the constant “wearing my heart on my sleeve” feeling.  The part which amazes me the most so far is:  the Mother Lioness!

She is a complete separate entity.  She’s the one who would jump out in front of a bullet to protect her children.  Mother Lioness roars and fights for her kids, she surprised me to much the first time she came out, that I had to literally sit for a while to hold her back.  She is fierce, protective and instinctive.  She was born the day my children were born. She’s the one who fought for my son when he was diagnosed with ADHD and bullied at school.  She was the one who made sure my daughter was well taken care of in the hospital when she had a pneumonia.  She’s the one who roars when her children are threatened.

For absolutely no one else has Mother Lioness come out.. no one else but her children.

I witnessed Mother Lioness in more ways than one, and not only in myself.  I remember the day my best friend and I were at the park with our children.  She was happily swinging her 5 month old baby in the baby swing.  The day was bright and the kids were just finishing their picnic, when out of the blue, I saw my friend pull her baby from out of the air!  As soon as it happened she asked me to grab her infant so she could sit down.  She was obviously shaken after the event, however, she told me she was focused when she caught her child.

What happened is baby Anna had somehow pushed herself backwards and the swing tipped over, in one split second,  Caroline had her by the pants!  It was a momma miracle!   After she had calmed down, we both tried to recreate the event using a teddy bear, and neither of us were able to grab the stuffed animal out of the air after it tipped over out of the swing!   Mother Lioness is perceptive and instinctual.  It was almost like Caroline had known a second before the incident and was literally prepared in advance to grab her daughter in mid-air.

Call it instinct or intuition, whatever it is, it’s real!

Take for instant the time I was pregnant with my son, I was walking on the sidewalk with his father, when I tripped and fell.  The thing is, that although my ex recounts that I fell in 3 seconds flat!  In my mind, the fall lasted at least 30 seconds or more, thus, during the fall I had time to think, turn to my side to avoid falling on my stomach.  I fell on my side with my arm protecting my baby belly!  I was ok, and so was the baby.

How bout the times when I knew my children needed to get to the emergency despite other’s saying “No she’ll be ok.. it’s just a cough” or “He’s fine, his fever will go down, keep him home”.  Both times, my kids needed medical help immediately.  Mother’s intuition is strong and I will never EVER deny it.

What makes moms go above and beyond?  What makes a mother protect her child?  Is it love? Animal Instinct of Mother’s Intuition? I do not know, and to be truthful, I just spent an hour googling about it and the only article I found is how Mom’s protective instincts may be related to low levels of Corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH), in the brain.  In Scientific American, Sarah Graham observes:

Differing CRH levels did not affect any other mothering instincts, such as nursing, however. A link between CRH and caring behavior in mothers could also help explain situations in which women don’t safeguard their children. If CRH needs to be low to see maternal protection of offspring, as our work suggests,Gammie remarks, then it explains why moms with high postpartum depression and high CRH not only may neglect, but also may abuse, their children. The findings appear in the August issue of Behavioral Neuroscience.

This may be a scientific explanation, however, I think many of us have experienced this instinct more than once, and probably often asked ourselves  “Did I do that?” right after you spent 14 hours awake taking care of your sick child !  I do not know why I cannot find more Science or Psychology on the subject on the web.. Maybe I am not looking in the right places, however, what I know for sure is that I would do absolutely ANYTHING for my children if they were in danger, or sick, or heartbroken, and that includes hunting down anyone who would deliberately hurt my child (lord knows what I would do once I find them).

What I understand about the Lioness in me, is that she comes out only for my children and no one else.  Not even myself!  Yet, now, I am learning to embrace Lioness and have her come to me when I need her too… I mean, with this self-love thing going on, I deserve a dose of Lioness love too!

Has the Lioness come out in you?  Please share your stories with me in the comment section!

Happy Mother’s Day 

Kim

Is Jaywalking bypassing your intuition?


Intuition is a spiritual faculty and does not explain, but simply points the way.  ~Florence Scovel Shinn

The other day I was buying something online for my daughter.  She really REALLY wanted this sweater and since she needs a new sweater I decided to get it for her.  We finally found the one she wanted, however, something in my stomach was telling me “mmm.. Check this out first” .  I ignored the feeling and proceeded to check out.  The order went through ok, however, the day after I realized I paid by echeck (which means the money comes directly out of your account not out of the Paypal acct) .  Thank God I did the double take and was able to transfer the PP money into my bank on time, because I would be in big trouble right now with everyone (bank, paypal and the vendor).

Last week I was watching OWN, and Oprah was doing an episode on  “Trusting Your Intuition”.  In September Jennifer Shelton from Femcentral posted “Whats a “gut” and how do I listen to it?”

It is no coincidence those things are coming to me when I am questioning my intuition.  I get mad at myself when I ignore it, and KNOW, just KNOW when I’m doing it.  When I experience my intuition,  I get a pinch inside my stomach (for when I “should” take another path). That pinch goes right to my brain and sends an alarm:  “NO NO NO – Stop – Double Check – Not Good!!”  When I am making the choice that is right for me, the feeling is totally different.

My question is:  If my gut is speaking to me, why do I choose to ignore it?   I can probably come up with all kinds of answers, however, the whys are not important.  What is important is that I see, hear and feel!   So, like an athlete, I am in training!  Lets move on to practice.

I created a system for myself to remind me of the “red flags”.  First, with my therapist, we decided that I should put Stop signs around my house to remind me, during my vulnerable stages, what is important:  ME!!  Moreover, I must remember to set boundaries and stick to them.  There will come a time, during this process, that I may become weak.  These stop signs will serve as reminders to not open the door to things that may, in the end, be a detriment to my healing.

Second,  while I was walking across the street here.  I noticed that often, I was jaywalking. So lets say “jaywalking” is ignoring my gut.   I also noticed that often, almost everyone around here jaywalks! (so everyone ignores their gut? No.. but for the purpose of this excercise YES!)   Jaywalking, in this instance, represents taking a chance every time one ignores the stop sign and crosses the street.  So this is my plan.  When I want to cross the street, I press on the little hand to activate the cross walk.  Although it takes a long time for the little walking man to show up, I wait until its safe.  Thus, the hand telling me to stop is my “gut instinct” to stop.  The little man telling me to walk “is my gut instinct to go with it”!

This visual exercise is really helping me tap into “the stop and go” of instinct.  It is also teaching me patience, and being good to myself.  I mean, if I cross that street too early, I could get hit by a car.  If I wait, I am making a wise choice.  I still look both ways before I cross, but know that the path is cleared and its my turn!

As for my daughter’s sweater, in  the end, the money cleared and there is no harm done… Yet I can’t wait to receive my daughter’s sweater to make this whole transaction A.. OK!!!

What signs do you look for?  What practices do you do in order to trust your gut?