In this article Wear Your Oxygen Mask First, the blogger describes why it is important to give yourself oxygen first if ever there is an emergency on an airplane. This dream I interpreted in September reminded me of my struggles of putting myself first order to be a healthier mom for my children. The mom in this dream is an amazing mom! She really cares for her family’s well-being, however, sometimes like many of us moms, especially new moms, we (out of pure love for are children) are too tired at night for anything.. Including sex!!!
The names in this dream are changed Maria is the dreamer, hubby is the boyfriend and Tod (for Toddler child).
The dream opened with me in the backseat of a long car (like a Cutlass), the seat belts in back were brown with black seat belts. I bent down to grab my bra from the back seat floor (I was clothed) when I noticed a black bra affixed by the clasps to the seat belt beside me. I pulled it off and I noticed it was a size C and the words “Kieran” were on the label. The bra was from American Apparel. Hubby was in the front passenger seat sleeping. I thought nothing of the bra and went to put mine on. As the minutes passed, it started bugging me so i searched around in the seats (behind and under them) for more clues. I found a key chain (a digital photo viewer one) with a hotel key attached. I looked at the pics to find they were of him and a girl (who looked like a hooker) on a bed in a hotel room. I scanned through the pics and saw MANY pictures of many ppl in various stages of sex and even some (omg lol acrobatic type sex positions) I woke him up and showed him the pics at which he laughed and smiled and was embarrassed and speechless. I yelled. “Oh snap!” and I ran out of the car into a locker room nearby. He followed me and every time he opened his mouth i punched or roundhouse kicked him in the face. He was surprised by my flexibility and athletic ability. (So was I) LOL! Anyways, I beat him 😦 repeatedly and then I hog tied with Tod’s red socks (?????) and stuffed him in a locker. I told that if he wanted kinky, I could tie him up and then set his clothes on fire. (EEP! Crazy lady alert!) I proceeded to go home to burn all of his clothes. I found out via the news that several members of a specific group were involved in this weird sex convention thing and were taking work time to do it. Everyone besides Hubby had been found and charged (Hubby was still in the locker) I was heartbroken and sad because I had physically lost control. Then I woke up.
Background Info (this often help me shed even more light on a dream)
I was *extremely* hung over yesterday. I am feeling more human today. Two: A band t-shirt I had bought at the concert was from American Apparel (which is probably the link there). As for the other stuff. Hubby is quite honestly the most sincere and genuine person I have ever met. When I was first with him, I worried intensely he would cheat on me bcuz he was just “too perfect”. I have since dropped that bcuz I know he wouldn’t have it in him to do such a thing. I have accepted that I *deserve* him. At any rate, by the end of our day, I am often too exhausted to “do the deed” 🙂 I know this frustrates him sometimes and he wishes that part of our life was like how it was before we had Tod. When it happens, it’s never disappointing (ever), it’s just that we have no time to make it a priority like we used to. Sigh.
I knew he was the one for me. However, the permanence and legalities of marriage has never appealed to me bcuz I had a failed engagement once before. Needless to say, I have always said to him that I never cared if we got married or not (he was always the one who seemed more gung ho from it at the beginning of our relationship) Until we had Tod. About 6 months ago, I started becoming more open to the idea. I haven’t really shared that with him, until my drunken confessions, which had him blindsided. Yadda, yadda…he said he never gave it much thought, which upset me…drunken crying…you can fill in the rest. Next morning I am slightly mortified lol and he’s feeling guilty bcuz he never realized how much it bothered me. I told him to never ask me because I would say no and that’s where we left it. He knows I’m kidding but I really didn’t want to have to deal with the fallout of my drunken alter ego’s antics when i was already dealing with the hangover from Hell. haha. He told me that in his Province, it is very common to not be formally married and just be common-law.
It seems to me that since you (Ego) are in the backseat something (like maybe intimacy and fun) are taking the “backseat” in your life. The parked car tells me that maybe you need to “stop” and enjoy life (and do the things that you love including time with hubby). The seatbelts symbolize the need for security, so do the bras… Being a mother is important to you and you work hard at being such a great mom, however, this dream is telling me there may be a bit of resentment going on (which is normal cause all moms I know feel this now and then when time for fun and intimacy start to take “the back seat”)
Hubby (your Id) is taking a passive role.. Sleeping quietly.. While you are starting to feel the urge to uncover a mystery behind. Since your “drunken convo” in life explains, I feel some insecurity there. You want a marriage? You want a commitment? Or Do you really feel that you have this commitment with Hubby? (those are the questions I would ask myself) What steps can you take (being flexible) to have this time?
In the dream you are suspicious, insecure and looking for clues of an affair. You finally find the clues.. The KEY to your darkest desires (the love fest). You face that part of yourself “Hubby” and you feel embarrassed (like you felt embarrassed after you woke up that morning). Really Maria your (id) is the one with the hidden desires for intimacy now. However, I think you are stuffing these emotions somewhere (beating up on yourself and stuffing yourself in a locker is not a good thing).
Tod’s red socks = Anger, resentment.. That maybe (NOT Tod HIMSELF) however, that having this child has (like you explained) kinda cut off some of the “good intimacy” you had with the real Hubby, and yourself (time to have “me” “woman” time). When in fact, when you do build some time to really be with “Hubby” in life, and “yourself” in life you surprise yourself on how flexible you are!
What Maria has to say 1 month later:
Hey I thought of something. It sort of just popped into my head. The lockers in my dream…they represent the gym. See, my sex life is so much better (and my drive is) when I exercise regularly. That was also put on the back burner! Hence sex life also suffered as a result. Of that. No longer an issue btw 😉 !
Me: Maria! Going to the Gym is taking care of yourself, and giving you the “libido” you much-needed in your relationship. I am very proud that this is no longer an issue for you! You go girl!! xxoo Keep on giving yourself that oxygen first!