How to Redefine Love This Valentine’s Day: 14 Gestures of Love by Monica Wilcox


14 gestures of love challenge 2

Note from Kim: 

Join Our Facebook Group 14 Gestures of Love Challenge

Valentine’s Day, Shmalentine’s Day! This has been my motto for as long as I can remember. The only way I truly enjoy this day of love is with my children, watching them prepare 20 to 30 Valentine’s to give to the class, baking heart cookies, eating cinnamon hearts, cutting out hearts and giving them a box of chocolate. Continue reading

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Nothing is as it seems


We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.  ~Anaïs Nin

Earlier this week I introduced you to Monica Wilcox. (scroll to the bottom of the page for all her info!)  She wrote a guest post for Muse In The Valley:   Where World’s Collide, recounting the dream she had of her mom after her passing.

Today, I am presenting you with a recent interpretation I did for Monica, allowing me to delve into her subconscious.  Could this be a visitation dream of another kind?

The Dream

I was going to a high school reunion type dinner (I have this thing about H.S. dreams, don’t ask) and realized my date was a boy I did not like and did not want to go with. I was wearing a beautiful white gown with black flowers but thought is was too little girly for the event and wanted to go home and change. As I am trying to leave to go home a man walks up with a bouquet of exotic flowers. He’s come to “save my night” and be my date.

Here is the interesting part. I recognize him as a good friend I’ve dreamed of before. He has recently broke up with another mutual friend who is dating another guy I know. He would like to start dating another woman I know but she is unaware of this and…. The point is I consciously realized that I not only know him and his whole story from past dreams but a literal cast of other people we both know. I knew as much about these people from past dreams as I know about my family and friends in life. I realized I had had the previous episode of this dream the night before and this was a continuation. Anyway, I get the continuation dreams a lot (like the story just keeps going on, it’s not repetitive) but I didn’t realize until last night how long and how in depth I knew these “characters”. It was kind of crazy. Have any of you experienced this?

The Interpretation

(Note:  I have never experienced this kind of dream. However, I am discovering that some of my clients do an am in full research mode! )

Monica, I was wondering, since you have many High School dreams, including this one.. Maybe there are things in your past… (or past lives) that is unresolved and now is the time to face them.  The boy you do not want to go with may represent that side of you who resists going (where no Monica has gone before!)  … maybe there is a bit of fear there.

In the dress I see black and white, yin and yang, male/female.. like/dislike…  Since you find the dress “too girly” I am wondering if this has something to do with your feminine side.. What seems too girly in your life now?  Or.. is there some male aspects of yourself which want to come out.. Because you do say “I want to go home and change”… Going home?  Is that back to your spirit?  Change?  What changes have you been making or want to make lately?

The man with the exotic flowers!  I see here:  expressions of love, deep love and far away places (spirituality maybe?) or.. another dimension you are playing with.  I think this man represents acceptance of this.. and helps you cross over to this place.. with unconditional love.  He can also represent that loving side of you who is ready and willing to change and move forward.

The fact that you recognize this man.. and all the cast of your dream.. leaves me to believe that this is “knowledge” that you already know..  (re:  above)  These people may have been on your path before and are all in your dream to remind you to where you are going.  You recognise what you already know!! and I think there will be more revelations to you in the next few weeks.  So keep me posted!

The message I got for you,  at the end, when I finished reading your dream is:

Everything is not all black and white!  (there is a huge grey area).. and Nothing is as it seems.. 

Monica’s Response

I’ve never had anyone interpret my dreams before so it’s a treat. I totally agree with your overall message: Nothing is as it seems. That could be the title. (thanks for the idea Monica!!)  I also feel like the “man” is a spirit I have known for a long time who comes and goes, we know each other’s history and he shows up to give me some support. Weather he is a living spirit who dream jumps with me or someone who is in spirit and comes to me from a spiritual plain…not sure. I will say that the majority of my H.S. years were filled with boys who liked me but I had no interest in. The boys I liked were usually clueless, shy, or not interested. Maybe there is a part of me that feels like I’m stuck with something I’m not interested in??? Thanks Kim!! This gives me a lot to think about.

Conclusion

Do you think Monica has a guide or a soul mate visiting her? Maybe souls she already knows visit her in her dreams, thus, the reason she is recognizing them? Leave your thoughts in the comment section.

Thank you for your awesome feedback!

Kim Larocque

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About Monica:  

Monica Wilcox is a regular contributor for Care2.comOwningPink.com, and FemCentral.com. Her work has been featured on McSweeney’s.net and in Parent:Wise magazine. When she’s not editing her first novel, she’s blogging about women’s issues, living green and everything woo-woo. She’s been advised to publish a dream journal. Until then you can find more of her nightly drama at Femmetales.com.

Where Worlds Collide – By Monica Wilcox


This week we are talking about Visitation Dreams.  On January 19th I posted a poll asking you to vote if you had any of the following dreams:  Visitation, guides, angels etc.. 35% of you answered you’ve were visited by a deceased loved one.  According to Ryan Hurd, in his article, Visitation dreams: When the Veil between Worlds is Thinthere are common traits in visitation dreams.  I will list these at the bottom of the post for you to read.

Today I feel honored Monica Wilcox shares her experience with us.  She describes in her absolute best writing and style the visit she received after the passing of her mother:

Don’t tell me worlds aren’t clashing every day. Realities are always slamming into one another. Just look at what happens when I close me eyes and slip back to:

My Childhood Home 

Only it’s empty: no furniture, no art work, no organized piles of crap waiting to be dealt with. Just squares of sunlight stretched in long diagonals across the taupe carpet. That’s mighty peculiar since I haven’t been home, in like, forever. Didn’t we sell this house once upon a time?

My mom, with my father behind her, are the only things filling up the empty. She’s all smiles, looking refreshed and younger than I ever knew her. So heaven is the universal spa. Just look what 4 years has done for my mother.

We embrace and I feel her; the way her body used to fit into mine, her unconditional love for me, her individual energy. I’m suddenly all emotional and mystified, “Why are you here? You died,” I stammer.

“I never died, Monica. That’s a mistake,” she assures me.

Can you see it now; how one swirling world collides into another?  One truth crumbling away at another truth as huge chunks of reality become obliterated by the friction. There is the reality where I scattered my mother’s aches across a Wyoming mountainside the day before I plunged into a deep pit of grief.

And Then There is This Reality 

“I never died. I never died. And now I’ve come back.”

I’m so thrilled by this heavenly act of contrition that I start babbling and crying all over her.  My heart shatters into a thousand bits of gratitude. God made a mistake? I was right all along, she wasn’t supposed to die.

“Where have you been?” I ask. I can’t understand where she has been all this time; like a Columbian vacation gone bad. Does she know what it’s done to my father? My father! He must be overjoyed to have her back now. He’s been so lost without her. Now they can go back to the way it was and continue on.

But while she was lounging at the Pearly Gates Spa, everything here, at the house has changed.

“Oh no Mom! We got rid of all your clothes and your jewelry…we’ll have to ask everyone to give everything back. Here…,” I tug her wedding ring off my finger and offer it back to her, “here’s your ring back.” How could we have given away her whole life like that; within weeks of her death? As if there was no chance she would want it back? There is a long list of personal things I’ll never find, like her blue ceramic cookie jar she made in her first ceramics class in the ‘70’s. Does Goodwill have long term storage? I’m inexplicably mortified to have done this to her.

She curls my fingers over the ring, “It’s not mine anymore. I have a new life now. I’m no longer married.” She’s practically glowing, like a woman in the deep depths of a bottomless peace and… knowing.

Good gravy! She’s returned from the dead to divorce my father and build a new single life. Next thing she’ll tell me is she’s bought a cute condo in the big city and a sexy black Beamer. My mother has gone into a full-blown re-life crisis.

Yes, worlds are colliding.  And I’m stuck between them. My mother IS here before me, as fully as she ever was, AND yet…she is not.

“I still have your brass bed and we can get back your antique hutch but your bedroom set and your couches and some of your photos…we just couldn’t keep nineteen albums worth of pictures.”

She puts her hands on my shoulders. She’s got that look of sympathy in her eyes. The last time she looked at me that way I was fifteen and heartbroken with a bad crush. It means there are things she understands that I do not. I hate that look.

“Honey, I’ve moved on to another place.”

“Do you think we can get the school to hire you back? I’m sure they can find a teaching position for you.”

She hugs me again, whispering in my ear, “If you only knew how EASY all of it really is. If only I’d have known I wouldn’t have been so darned stressed out and worried scared.”

That’s easy for her to say. She died and then God realized He’d made a mistake and brought her back and now she’s a retired divorcee moving to some beach in tax free Costa Rica.

I awake, curl up and cry. Why did my subconscious do that to me? Why couldn’t my mind grasp that my mom was communicating to me from another place. I have a thousand questions I wanted to ask but all I could think about was hunting down her damn embroidered pillowcases. It’s like my conscious mind could not get itself around the possibility of another reality.

No. Don’t tell me world’s aren’t colliding. They are colliding every night.

Monica Wilcox is a regular contributor for Care2.comOwningPink.com, and FemCentral.com. Her work has been featured on McSweeney’s.net and in Parent:Wise magazine. When she’s not editing her first novel, she’s blogging about women’s issues, living green and everything woo-woo. She’s been advised to publish a dream journal. Until then you can find more of her nightly drama at Femmetales.com.

Common Traits of Visitation Dreams

Taken from the article by Ryan Hurd, on Oct. 29, 2009

Meanwhile, ordinary people around the world continue to have visitation dreams that greatly affect them.   Some say the dreams actually change their lives forever. According to Kevin Kovelant, a consciousness studies professor at JFK University, visitation dreams often have these features:

  • The dream feels more real than the usual dream: more clarity, focus, and steadiness of mind.
  • A “felt sense” that the person is really them, not just  a memory. “That was grandma – I know it was her.”
  • Very little plot: usually the dream narrative consists of the interaction between the dream ego and the figure of the deceased person.
  • Strong emotions are commonly reported: love, forgiveness, anger, fear.
  • A “physical” touch between the spirit and the dreamer, usually a hug or a reaching out.
  • The deceased dream figure often looks younger and healthier than when they passed on.
  • Sometimes accompanied by the feeling of “weight” or “presence” on the dreamer’s bed.

Dreamworker Robert Moss breaks down visitation dreams into 13 themes. Here’s my favorites from Moss’s interesting book The Dreamer’s Book of the Dead.

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So tell me.  Have you experienced a visitation dream?  Let me know in the comment section below. Also, do you have thoughts on what happened here between Monica and her mom?

A Christmas To Love


This year created a Facebook Page: I For The Love Of Christmas. Why? because I am filled with wonderful memories of Christmases past. I am addicted to these past experiences because of the amazing impact they have had on me as child. I can remember the day I saw Santa Claus riding his reindeer in the sky. I was only 5 then, but the feeling .. The excitement.. The JOY! I felt was so overwhelming I couldn’t deny it.

Here’s the story:  I was sitting on my bed on Christmas eve, too full of Christmas anticipation to sleep. I had just returned from leaving Baby Jesus under the Tree, saying my prayers and kissing him goodnight. My brother and I were sneaking conversation under the covers when we heard a noise from outside my window (we lived on the second floor). Then, I got up on my knees to look out and that is when it happened: From the corner of my eye I saw him and eight tiny reindeer fly through the sky in a beam of light. I screamed so loudly that my mom rushed into the room to see what was going on. To this day… I believe.. Some may call it an overactive imagination..however, I like to call it creating the experiences: Thus, in my life, Santa Claus rides the skies on Christmas eve.

Now, at 46 years of life, I go around wearing ugly Christmas sweaters, singing Christmas carols and dance and ring jingle bells which drive my kids crazy. I’m passing on my Christmas joy and hope to create memories my kids will cherish.

Christmas can mean many things. This week, Monica Wilcox  posted an article on her blog Femme Tales – Truth with humor:   Can A Former Christian Find Meaning In Christmas? (If you can, read the article before continuing). I was about to write a similar post, yet Monica describes my feelings perfectly that I do not need to repeat. She also matches my position on Christmas and how I’ve taken the bible stories and adapted them to my spirituality. There is so much I love about this time of year, and the message I love the most is: “Peace on Earth Good Will Towards Men”. What is NOT to love about wishing our fellow humans peace, love and fulfillment? I am grateful for the story of Christmas, and the story of Hanukkah.. I take what I love about any celebration and adapt it to our family traditions. This, makes our experience unique, yet ingrained in common traditions around the world.

My initial point of writing about Christmas is…. although I’m all Ho Ho Ho! And Mistletoe …. I too get discouraged, nostalgic and often lonely. I’m like many of you, who, at times, find it difficult to listen to the “Commercialism” of Christmas, and to read newspaper articles on “How Shoppers are Scroogelike this year”. Furthermore, my family (mom, dad and brother) are not so close (geographically) and everyone often feels a bit of pressure on whose house to visit and when. This year I told everyone: “Listen to yourselves, do what you feel, and no strings!”  Lets do what makes us happy!

Also, finances also play a role in everyone’s stress. In our family, we have started over:  A move, a separation, a new environment..  There are many whom have lost their jobs, loosing their homes  and struggling to make ends meet.  This year especially, I must remind myself that Christmas is not about how big the gift is…. it is the love one puts into it. My children are asking for things I cannot afford, and I told them jokingly: “Santa is on Welfare this year”.. (not literally mind you) They laugh and guffaw at my statement, because they believe Santa, (even though they are teens) can create miracles!   Then every year, there is something they wanted under the tree.  They know Mr. Kringle cannot provide PlayStation XYZ to all children of the world.

Watching the news the other day, I saw a bunch of Santa’s at a real Santa School! Part of the curriculum is to work with the parent to “downgrade” children’s expectations, thus, Santa doesn’t promise anymore! I really thought this was a good sign in these times of IPODS, DS’s and WII’s. Not everyone can afford to buy these things, and to be honest, I think the electronic age puts much pressure on the parents! .. but that is for another blog post.. 🙂

What I am attempting to convey is:   even though Christmas can be difficult and stressful, it really doesn’t have to be. Since I’ve been volunteering at the foodbank (another future blog post) I am reminded of the gratefulness of those in need. They are SO happy to receive day old bread, old cheese, and a bag of milk.  This is something that many of us often take for granted or even throw away. The smiles on those people’s faces allow me to come home humbled and thankful myself. Volunteering has allowed the Christmas spirit to resurface even though its going to be so different for us this year.

So, in the end.. Christmas spirit comes from within. We do not need to be unhappy the entire season, but we do need to acknowledge that there will be times of pain and nostalgia, and sit with those emotions awhile. Yet, denying yourself the pure JOY which Christmas brings, is, to me, a punishment you are giving yourself. Find that lost memory, find your bliss.. See a homeless man smile or a teenage runaway accept warm food… Give this Christmas the gift of love.. That, my friend, can change the world!

“Poor, misguided folks. They missed the whole point. Lot’s of unhappiness? Maybe so. But doesn’t Santa take a little bit of that unhappiness away? Doesn’t a smile on Christmas morning scratch out a tear cried on a sadder day? Not much maybe. But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa’s beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men.” From the Christmas Special Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.

Blessings of love to you this Holiday Season!

Do not forget I am hosting a Writing Prompt:  Your letter to Santa.  You can find the information here.  It is due December 15th