Between These Two Unknowns – Dreaming about death

Birth and death; we all move between these two unknowns.

Bryant H. McGill

You wake up screaming, full of sweat,  and find  your screams mixed with uncontrollable sobbing.  Once you are able to finally focus on the sunlight coming through your window, you realize that you ARE awake, and it YES, it was just a dream.  Yet, you wonder, why you still feel afraid?  Why is the urge to cry lingering? AND why oh why is it so important you call the person you’ve just dreamed about?  You’ve just had the dreaded “death” dream:  You fear the worst.

I had that dream, almost 20 years ago I am sure.  I do not remember the details surrounding the dream, however, I remember seeing my brother (as if I was high up on a ledge observing him) walking through a parking lot, keys in hand, towards his car.  He looked like he was coming back from a work meeting, he was dressed in his suit (my brother, at the time,  had his own business in the works) and had his briefcase in hand.  He approached his car and as soon as he put the keys in the passenger door to unlock it, IT EXPLODED!!! He was dead!

I woke up at that instant crying so hard I almost threw up.  I immediately came back to my senses, but picked up the phone immediately! I was sure I had a premonition dream and I had to save my brother.  Obviously I didn’t, he’s alive and well today, however, why did I have that dream?

My daughter this week, as I mentioned on my Facebook Page, had a dream I died.  She was very upset, she said when she woke up to the point of crying.  In her dream, after I died and the feeling of loss subsided, she decided to go to the house where we lived in our dream and clean it up.  Once the house cleaned, she told me, she started making a list of things she needed to fix up (to take care of).  Then, she started getting ready to take a boat trip.  Her X step-father was in her dream, telling he it was time to get out of the house.  She said his voice was a reminder that it was time, not malicious.  She quickly got her bags, she said, after saying goodbye to her friends on the computer, and hurried to get out.  The boat ride was waiting.  End of dream.

Note my daughter has had a long term relationship with boats, especially as a young child.  She drew them often.  Sailboats in particular.  She was always standing in her boat on calm waters going ahead towards the sun. Thus, the boat symbolism is very personal to her.  It means, freedom, growth and smooth and safe sailing!  

Of course both my daughter and I experienced a bit of panic when she described her dream to me, BUT really do death dreams mean real death?


Often, when we draw the Death card in Tarot, we see the worst, until we read the meaning of the card.  In her Tarot book, The Dreamer’s Journal, Barbara Moore describes the Death card in her deck:

“This card can, but rarely does, refer to physical death, which is some comfort.  Death, though, whether physical or metaphorical, is not an easy experience.  This card implies the end of something, perhaps a job, a relationship, a situation, or an organization.  The actual ending will likely be hard, but once it’s over the cycle continues and something new will come. On the other hand, it may be a welcome closure, such as ending a bad relationship, quitting an unhappy job, or selling a house to get a new one.  On a spiritual level, this can mean a symbolic death where you eliminate old beliefs that no longer work for you and perhaps were holding back.  Death is usually hard, but it must happen before transformation or resurrection occurs”  p. 71

Basically, my daughter’s dream makes a lot of sense if you look at it.  She just finished her 3rd year in high-school, she’s taking charge of her life, she follows house rules more often than not, and is coming into her own!  She studies harder, works harder, makes wise choices, and to top it off, this year I told her that my nagging stops, and her choices begin!  

In fact, her dream is a positive one, where  as in she is growing up, learning to depend LESS on me and MORE on herself. This is a great sign or her maturity.  Another way to look at this dream, according to Craig Hamilton-Parker:

“If you dream about your mother dying… it could represent the death of the “motherly” side of your own nature” A more caring and maternal attitude MAY be needed, according to Hamilton-Parker. There may also be a hidden wish to be independent of the mother.

The dream about my brother, at the time, seems to mean about the same.  We were very close and depended a lot on each other.  He was always there for me, and I called him constantly when I needed something.  I think the urge to detach myself from him was in a way to A.  Become independent and B.  detach myself from my “jealousy”.  There was a time my brother’s success with EVERYTHING (women, clients, work, sports, etc..) was something I wanted (not the woman part mind you.. but you get the drift).  

Sometime it takes a big explosion to wake you up!

The next time you have the dreaded death dream.  Take a moment to gather your thoughts and write them down.  Look at what changes you have recently made in your life, or new plans coming up.  You may be experiencing troubles in your relationship, or looking to quit your job for a more interesting one.  Whatever experiences you are having, note the old adage: “out with the old and in with the new”!  

If you have had a death dream recently or in the past, jot it down in the comment section.  It will be my pleasure to help you find the meaning.

Have a great weekend!









Introspection with Kelly

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
Lao Tzu

Yesterday I posted a dream submitted to me by Kelly Beavesdorf (@kellybeav) on Twitter.  You can see her bio and dream plus the interpretation here.

Once I have interpreted a dream, my clients usually send me an email or message so we can discuss whether the meaning resonates with them, or if we still have some work to do.  If a client experiences an “AHA” moment, this means there is truth to the interpretation.  However, there are times when I am off, due to lack of background or just I wasn’t in the zone that day.  Which means I am dedicated to work with the client to get to the bottom of the dream.

The following is Kelly’s email to me after she received my interpretation:

The leachy plants representing me opening a can of worm, exposing my dreams and deep honest soul desires to others is a dead on yes! I have a hard time explaining Reiki to people not because I don’t know what it is or how it works…its because I’m nervous about how much information to give to people before they get turned off. I’ve noticed that I rarely tell people what I’m pursuing in my life ( like going to massage therapy school in the fall is a current example). I “forget” or “minimize” my goals or current projects in my mind telling myself what I’m doing isn’t as important as what other people are doing. I’m not sure how or who or where I picked up this thought pattern….BUT I have noticed it’s existence lately. As a matter of fact I didn’t go to a holistic convention last weekend because my new nephew was born & I decided to help my sister-in-law out instead of going to the convention. I thought to myself “Alice (a Facebook/twitter friend) won’t even notice I’m not there… I was totally wrong and pleasantly surprised. I was shocked that she wrote that she missed me…”Really someone I’ve never met in person missed me and on top of that looked forward to meeting me…HOLY CRAP I’m loved!” Another signal that I got came from my two long time friends telling me how proud they are of me, they admire how brave & ambitious I am for pursuing my dreams & flowing my heart. They even tell/brag about me to other people they know. I don’t think I”ve ever heard that before…it feels like the first time to me. Maybe I’m becoming more open to receiving these messages now?!

These are 5 of the big major things that help me get through each and every single day:

  1. I am truly happy and in bliss when I’m talking to my friend about astrology, Reiki, and other holistic topics.
  2. I love reading/talking about what it’s like on the “other side” and I love meditating about it too. Communicating with the spirit world in general is the biggest high for me.
  3. I love practicing Reiki and learning new energy healing techniques.
  4. I love driving (fast…on the open road) listening to music loudly, and singing at the top of my lungs.
  5. I love traveling, even if it’s through daydreaming or meditation. I wonder what is would be like or if I’ve ever experienced Astral Travel…its a goal!

I will admit that I wholeheartedly daydream about my life with a husband/boyfriend and send him lots of love. My inner nay-sayer mocks me for telling anyone that, but ignoring the nay-saying is a big part of healing…right?! YUP!

The identity is true especially physically. I lost a lot of weight this year. I honestly didn’t change my eating habits or excercise more…I  should be eating more (not skipping meals) and have a balanced diet. I need to excercise because I feel weak…not much strength. The doctor told me I’m healthy, people say I look great…I don’t feel great on the inside. My body looks different and feels different now, I don’t have to wear clothes that hide my stomach!!!

Thank you for your interpretation! I know moving out will help me move forward in my life towards my goals…yes it is pretty scary to think about. The money part scares me the most…as it does most people. Once I get some more research done and planning ironed out things will be a lot clearer I bet! Thank you so much for reminding me to be gentle & loving to myself during this process. You are a big blessing in my life Kim 🙂




Freakish plants and blank faces

 Kelly B. is an Artist & Reiki Master that is learning astrology. She participates in charity walks, practices yoga and belly dancing. Halloween and the paranormal are also her passion.  You can follow her on twitter @KellyBeav

One of my most popular interpretations on my blog is Zakaphorian Dreams.  Kelly shared this dream with me and this was also the first interpretation I posted online.  You can visit this post here:  Zakaphorian Dream and the Interpretation.

You can aslo get to her response after THIS interpretation by here: Introspection With Kelly


The Dream

I am working at a store putting a display together (they are called shippers), the display is made of cardboard. I’m filling it with holiday gift wrapping supplies like glue, tape, tinsel, bows, paper, bubble wrap, etc. I’m working on the shipper in the middle of a giant aisle in the store sitting on the floor (it was a brown…like mud color and my butt was freezing cold) very contented putting it together. Some co workers appear, but they have no face features just bodies…very generic looking in their store uniforms. My coworkers asked when I got off work, and I said in 10 minutes.

The next thing I realize I’m walking down a hallway that has very elegant dark brownish gold molding on the walls. The walls are white with a golden-yellow glow from the lights. The light looked like those old spot lights you would see in an older art gallery used to light up a painting. I felt like I was in “heaven” so to speak. There were aquariums hanging from the walls instead of paintings, some had fish inside and other had plants…very colorful fish and plants. The aquariums lined the hall in no particular order up & down the walls of the hall. It was very peaceful, there were benches to sit in and admire the aquariums. I was the only person in this hall way for a long time, so I decide to sit on the floor again to get a new perspective of the room. I opened the top of one of the aquariums to touch a bright hot pink plant and a shiny green plant.

These plants attach themselves to my sleeve and hand, I was stuck. I thought I would just break the part stuck to me off the plant & everything would be okay…WRONG! the part of the hot pink plant attached to me climbed up my arm towards my body trying to attach itself to me. I yanked it off and threw it at the wall where it stuck. By this time other people without any faces where in the hall way with me. One woman told me I had a shiny green plant stuck to my hair. I went to get it off before it climbed up to my head and attached itself. While I was in the middle of doing this I caught my reflection in the glass of a nearby aquarium and realized I was in 1800’s era dress with the thin waist, busty chest with a ruffly trim, the dress was floor length and puffy but surprisingly light to wear, my hair was longer and in curled ringlets. I was myself but looked very different. I got the green plant off my hair and tossed it back into the aquarium. I had this feeling I was late to meet with someone I missed very much & had been gone on a long trip across the ocean. I kept walking down the hall admiring how I looked out of the corner of my eye, in my head my thoughts were “wow I look really attractive, dressed in beautiful clothes, and this is such a cool place. My body and face looked so different and felt different”… I wanted to keep looking at the fish too, but my body just kept walking down the hall that lead to a door to go outside. It was freezing outside on my face, there where muddy streets and the sky was gray.

The Intepretation

This dream seems to me to be part something you need to work though and I actually believe you are seeing part of what you looked like in a past life… which is interesting.

You are sitting on the floor I think to stay grounded. I feel that. Since you said to me you usually keep your butt covered, I also see the sitting down as a need for feeling protected and safe. It seems like you are preparing for something while attempting to stay “grounded”, thus the brown color of the floor… but the ground is cold.. which leads me to believe that maybe while you are content in some aspect of your life, and trying to stay present in it.. something is missing (cold) ..

The generic faceless people (again an aspect of coldness) I had to look up faceless… Seeing faceless people, now that I read the interp, makes sense. You are grounded, yet you are still searching for your identity.. maybe in yourself and in the faces of others.

I love the part of your dream when you are walking down the halls feeling like its heaven. What in life has provided this feeling to you lately? You must continue to pursue this path. The plants and aquariums and fish give you a sense of peace… So again, I sense something has shifted in you lately giving you this feeling… and then you ground yourself by sitting on the floor to gain another perspective!! WOW this is amazing to happen in a dream! Very wise soul you are.

…but then you open up a can of worms.

The clinging plants remind me of leaches! Leaches are something that suck the energy out of us.. So how does one go to a place of bliss to a place where she’s being attacked by leachy plants??? This is a very interesting part of your dream. Are you fearing that if you continue or tell someone about the dreams and goals you have and that you are working towards.. A can of worms will be opened? Or.. journal about what you need to let go of now to continue to move forward in finding your true bliss? Hmm.. think about this. I also believe you’ve done this work in your past (seeing yourself in the past) and that you didn’t know how to tell people you did this type of work.

“I had this feeling I was late to meet with someone I missed very much & had been gone on a long trip across the ocean. I kept walking down the hall admiring how I looked out of the corner of my eye, in my head my thoughts were “wow I look really attractive, dressed in beautiful clothes, and this is such a cool place. My body and face looked so different and felt different”… I wanted to keep looking at the fish too, but my body just kept walking down the hall that lead to a door to go outside. It was freezing outside on my face, there where muddy streets and the sky was gray.”

You’ve come a long way to get to where you are today Kelly! It’s been quite a journey. Keep on admiring how wonderful and beautiful you are.. The place you are in is COOL! It may look scary and cold when you walk out that door … but trust me … it will be a great adventure (moving out of your home into your new place).

Ƹ̴Ӂ̴ƷCome back tomorrow to see Kelly’s reaction to this interpretation.

Kinky, roadhouse kicks and tiny red socks?

In this article Wear Your Oxygen Mask First, the blogger describes why it is important to give yourself oxygen first if ever there is an emergency on an airplane.  This dream I interpreted in September reminded me of my struggles of putting myself first order to be a healthier mom for my children.    The mom in this dream is an amazing mom! She really cares for her family’s well-being, however, sometimes like many of us moms, especially new moms, we (out of pure love for are children) are too tired at night for anything.. Including sex!!!

The names in this dream are changed  Maria is the dreamer, hubby is the boyfriend and Tod (for Toddler child).

The Dream

The dream opened with me in the backseat of a long car (like a Cutlass), the seat belts in back were brown with black seat belts. I bent down to grab my bra from the back seat floor (I was clothed) when I noticed a black bra affixed by the clasps to the seat belt beside me. I pulled it off and I noticed it was a size C and the words “Kieran” were on the label. The bra was from American Apparel. Hubby was in the front passenger seat sleeping. I thought nothing of the bra and went to put mine on. As the minutes passed, it started bugging me so i searched around in the seats (behind and under them) for more clues. I found a key chain (a digital photo viewer one) with a hotel key attached. I looked at the pics to find they were of him and a girl (who looked like a hooker) on a bed in a hotel room. I scanned through the pics and saw MANY pictures of many ppl in various stages of sex and even some (omg lol acrobatic type sex positions) I woke him up and showed him the pics at which he laughed and smiled and was embarrassed and speechless. I yelled. “Oh snap!” and I ran out of the car into a locker room nearby. He followed me and every time he opened his mouth i punched or roundhouse kicked him in the face. He was surprised by my flexibility and athletic ability. (So was I) LOL! Anyways, I beat him 😦 repeatedly and then I hog tied with Tod’s red socks (?????) and stuffed him in a locker. I told that if he wanted kinky, I could tie him up and then set his clothes on fire. (EEP! Crazy lady alert!) I proceeded to go home to burn all of his clothes. I found out via the news that several  members of a specific group were involved in this weird sex convention thing and were taking work time to do it. Everyone besides Hubby had been found and charged (Hubby was still in the locker) I was heartbroken and sad because I had physically lost control. Then I woke up.

Background Info (this often help me shed even more light on a dream)

I was *extremely* hung over yesterday. I am feeling more human today. Two: A band t-shirt I had bought at the concert was from American Apparel (which is probably the link there). As for the other stuff. Hubby is quite honestly the most sincere and genuine person I have ever met. When I was first with him, I worried intensely he would cheat on me bcuz he was just “too perfect”. I have since dropped that bcuz I know he wouldn’t have it in him to do such a thing. I have accepted that I *deserve* him. At any rate, by the end of our day, I am often too exhausted to “do the deed” 🙂 I know this frustrates him sometimes and he wishes that part of our life was like how it was before we had Tod. When it happens, it’s never disappointing (ever), it’s just that we have no time to make it a priority like we used to. Sigh.

I knew he was the one for me. However, the permanence and legalities of marriage has never appealed to me bcuz I had a failed engagement once before. Needless to say, I have always said to him that I never cared if we got married or not (he was always the one who seemed more gung ho from it at the beginning of our relationship) Until we had Tod. About 6 months ago, I started becoming more open to the idea. I haven’t really shared that with him, until my drunken confessions, which had him blindsided. Yadda, yadda…he said he never gave it much thought, which upset me…drunken crying…you can fill in the rest. Next morning I am slightly mortified lol and he’s feeling guilty bcuz he never realized how much it bothered me. I told him to never ask me because I would say no and that’s where we left it. He knows I’m kidding but I really didn’t want to have to deal with the fallout of my drunken alter ego’s antics when i was already dealing with the hangover from Hell. haha. He told me that in his Province, it is very common to not be formally married and just be common-law. 

The Interpretation

It seems to me that since you (Ego) are in the backseat something (like maybe intimacy and fun) are taking the “backseat” in your life. The parked car tells me that maybe you need to “stop” and enjoy life (and do the things that you love including time with hubby). The seatbelts symbolize the need for security, so do the bras… Being a mother is important to you and you work hard at being such a great mom, however, this dream is telling me there may be a bit of resentment going on (which is normal cause all moms I know feel this now and then when time for fun and intimacy start to take “the back seat”)

Hubby (your Id) is taking a passive role.. Sleeping quietly.. While you are starting to feel the urge to uncover a mystery behind. Since your “drunken convo” in life explains, I feel some insecurity there. You want a marriage? You want a commitment? Or Do you really feel that you have this commitment with Hubby? (those are the questions I would ask myself) What steps can you take (being flexible) to have this time?

In the dream you are suspicious, insecure and looking for clues of an affair. You finally find the clues.. The KEY to your darkest desires (the love fest). You face that part of yourself “Hubby” and you feel embarrassed (like you felt embarrassed after you woke up that morning). Really Maria your (id) is the one with the hidden desires for intimacy now. However, I think you are stuffing these emotions somewhere (beating up on yourself and stuffing yourself in a locker is not a good thing).

Tod’s red socks = Anger, resentment.. That maybe (NOT Tod HIMSELF) however, that having this child has (like you explained) kinda cut off some of the “good intimacy” you had with the real Hubby, and yourself (time to have “me” “woman” time). When in fact, when you do build some time to really be with “Hubby” in life, and “yourself” in life you surprise yourself on how flexible you are!

What Maria has to say 1 month later:

Hey I thought of something. It sort of just popped into my head. The lockers in my dream…they represent the gym. See, my sex life is so much better (and my drive is) when I exercise regularly. That was also put on the back burner! Hence sex life also suffered as a result. Of that. No longer an issue btw 😉 !

Me:  Maria!  Going to the Gym is taking care of yourself, and giving you the “libido” you much-needed in your relationship.  I am very proud that this is no longer an issue for you!  You go girl!! xxoo  Keep on giving yourself that oxygen first! 


Zakaphorian Dreams Part I – The Dream

Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy.  Sigmund Freud

Welcome to my first published dream interpretation.  I have been interpreting dreams since my early 20s for friends and family using a method I learned by a psychologist and my intuition.  Recently, I started sharing my gift with online friends and found myself seeking to do more and more.  So, its with great pleasure I introduce you to my first dream.  



I had my first dream late 2007; I was very depressed and in dark place emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I remember asking God (like I always do) to watch over my soul mate. It made me feel less lonely inside. One night in 2007, I had a great vivid dream about this really handsome guy: tall, dark hair, big shoulders and arms. He looked intimidating but he really was a warm snuggly man. He had angular facial features (cheek bones, nose, chin, and eye brows). He wore black (t-shirt, jeans, shoes) the jeans were baggy but not falling off the butt, the shirt was tight but comfortable, and the shoes were leather work shoes. What stuck out in my mind the most were the tattoos he had: There was one on his back that was covered up by his t-shirt (it’s a representation of a life changing event he told me in my dream), but there were these wing tips or horns sticking up out of the color of the t-shirt. There was another tattoo down his left arm it was long narrow rectangular shape (it’s on his bicep), but the rest of it was covered up (it’s a religious meaning tattoo; he shared that with me as well). I know about the meanings of the tattoos because I saw them and asked about them in my dream.

Frequently I have dreams about this guy in all kind of situations: for example one dream I was having an emotional breakdown sitting in a bath tub just crying and screaming. He was there just very calmly and supportively sitting by me not saying anything…just letting me get it all out. The bath tub was white, the walls where a tan color, the tile was white/gray marble, and the towels were red. I remember I was feeling…completely exhausted by everything on every level (physically, emotionally, mentally, etc…) He was just there quiet and not judgmental…very loving energy. The relationship I had with this guy was deeply intimate, committed: a friendship, partnership, lover, and very intense.



Last November(2010) I wasn’t feeling very good after I had an intense energy healing session with a new client on a Tuesday night and I was completely drained the next day along with back pain. The problem was that my client’s energy got intertwined with mine and was stuck, which was stressful experience for me. Thursday I got an experienced friend to help me be released, and by Friday I was a total zombie. I felt very much like I did back in 2007. Friday night I was half watching TV, which is very rare for me to do by the way? I ended up watching Ghost Adventures (never heard of this show before…let alone the people in it). I noticed the tattoo on one of the guy’s neck and thought nothing of it until a few days later. There was a flash…light bulb of OMG that’s the tattoo the guy in my dreams has! I frantically looked up the TV show I was watching to find out who was on it. I saw a picture of the guy (his name is Zak), he had the arm tattoo…looked freakishly the same as the tattoo from my dreams. There was Zak and that neck tattoo the guy in my dream had. The research I have done on Zak informed me that his back tattoo is actually symbolic of when he was partly possessed during a paranormal investigation in Povalia Italy. In my dream I only knew the guy’s back tattoo symbolized a life changing event in his life. It’s interesting to me how I noticed his back tattoo the day after I had my own “possession”, since his tattoo symbolizes a time in his life when he was in a similar situation. Zak didn’t get his back tattoo until 2009…I had a dream about this guy with a very similar looking back tattoo it in 2007?!! Every time I see Zak’s back tattoo I get chills all over as you can imagine.


Just a little note about me before I go on I’ve always wrote out character traits or things in a guy that I like and value in a long term partner.  As I’ve watched Ghost Adventures and learn more about Zak, and so on. I notice that the list I wrote of character traits in my soul mate that want or wish for(those things  I wrote a long time ago) reflect Zak’s traits, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and so on match up with Zak’s traits, likes, dislikes, hobbies. To me this is just way to freaky to ignore or pass off as a coincidence. It’s not just that either “other things” happen without any rational explanation such as: over the 4th of July weekend I was very tired, emotionally at a breaking point (I worked 60 hours that past week) and the house was a mess. I stepped in a cat hair ball, and I was getting pissed off, frustrated, cranky to the point of tears…someone re-tweeted Zak’s tweet about how his last 24 hrs were shitty and he actually stepped in his dog’s pee. I don’t follow Zak on facebook or twitter, due to my work schedule I can’t watch his shows any more. Somehow by an act of a higher power things like this happen. Another time something similar happened one day my cell phone was sitting in my purse at work locked up and turned off. I turned it on, there was a picture of Zak…Random things like that happen. That is why I’m getting to the point of needing clarity or something, because this isn’t just some freak event….not a coincidence type of deal.


I’m obsessed with finding out what is going on and what is triggering this strong connection to me with a guy I’ve never met in this life time. Earlier this year (2011) is when this obsession came over me to figure out what this means, what is going on, and so on started. I have been trying to figure it out through astrology, asking my spirit guide/God, and talking with my friends. I just can’t seem to figure it out…


This dream has changed my life since last November…I feel like I’m losing my mind. I just can’t ignore it or pass it off as “nothing” any longer. Kim please help me out, and yes I still have dreams with the guy in them at least a couple times a week.

Kelly Beversdorf

See below for Part II –  The Interpretation + The Astral Intepretation by Jennifer Shelton